Procrastivity 101: How to Help Your ADHD Child Stop Putting Off the Important Stuff

Let's talk about a phenomenon that so many parents of kids with ADHD are all too familiar with: procrastivity.

You know, that thing where your child puts off a super important task to do something less crucial, but way more fun? Yeah, that.

So, what exactly is procrastivity and why does it happen?

Think about the last time your child had a big school project due, but instead of working on it, they're suddenly super interested in organizing their bookshelf or doodling in their notebook. Sound familiar? That's procrastivity.

Although it's SUPER frustrating to us as parents, it's also a real struggle for kids with ADHD. They're not just putting things off because they're lazy or unmotivated; they truly have a hard time prioritizing and regulating their behavior. And that can lead to a whole cycle of unfinished tasks and stress that just keeps building and building. So what's really going on here? Well, there are a couple of key factors.

First, there's the cognitive demand of the task. Your child might find it way easier to do something physical and manual, like cleaning their room, than something that requires more mental effort, like writing an essay.

Second, there's familiarity. Your kid might gravitate towards tasks that have a clear routine, like setting the table, because they know exactly what to do and how long it'll take. But open-ended tasks with no clear beginning, middle, or end? Those can feel super overwhelming and lead straight to procrastivity.

So as a parent, what can do to help your child break free from the procrastivity cycle? Here are a few strategies to try:

1. Break it down: Help your child break big tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. Instead of just saying "do your homework," try "take out your math book," "read the instructions for problem set 1," and "solve the first three problems."

1. Use visual cues and timers: Create structure by associating tasks with visual cues, like sitting at a designated homework spot or using a specific notebook for a subject. And timers can help create bounded work periods, like working for 15 minutes before taking a short break.
   

2. Reframe discomfort: Remind your child that they don't have to feel super motivated or excited to get started on a task. It's okay to feel uncomfortable or resistant, but those feelings don't have to control their actions. I started reminding my daughter that it was okay to feel that way, and we would take a moment to acknowledge those feelings, take a deep breath, and then get started.

1. Create "When-then" plans: Help your child develop "When-then" statements to cue certain behaviors, like "When I finish my math homework, then I can watch TV for 30 minutes." These can create a sense of structure and reward that motivates them to tackle the less fun stuff.

Listen, as a parent of a child with ADHD I know it's not easy. But by understanding procrastivity and trying out some of these strategies, you can help your child learn to prioritize, manage their time, and achieve their goals. It might take time, so don't get discouraged if you don't see progress immediately. With consistency, you will see improvement. I promise.